All The Best People Are
by Blue-Phoenix311
Summary: A new foreigner had fallen into Wonderland, and unlike Alice, she seemed to have a knack for troubles and guns, a person who seemed to know a lot more than she lets on... but most of the time she's what you call a little, loose around the edges, maybe?
1. Chapter 1: Rare Tea, Rare Foreigner

All The Best People Are

A Heart No Kuni No Alice Fanfic

 **This is an experimental chapter. Very likely that I'd delete it to make way for a more polished and longer chapter - depends on the reviews really.**  
 **This is just so I could get feedbacks on my writing and characters (admittedly to also satisfy my writing greed that says I'd have to publish something of my own)**

 **It's my first story so be nice please and just to let you know English isn't my first language. ;)**

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 **CHAPTER 1: RARE TEA, RARE FOREIGNER  
**

"Do you know that the best way to travel is by hat?"

Blood Dupre was floored. This resident was either driven so insane by the madness of Wonderland or was drugged beyond coherency that every word she spew was complete and utter bullshit. Blood was frustrated, not only for the apparent lack of communication on both ends but also the way this girl was looking at him, like there was some hidden joke that he had missed, and he had a troubling inkling that he was the very specimen of the said joke.

A light giggle bubbled from the soon to be dead stranger. She seemed far too amused for Blood's liking; usually confusing other lowly faceless or holders were his forte, a satisfying side hobby when things get too boring, being on the other side of the spectrum was least to say a very uncomfortable experience.

He frowned. This was officially the worst day of his entire life! Inside he screamed profanities. Out of all the days that this giddy woman could have shown up it was on this very special day! The day where his favorite tea shop served the rarest divination of tea, so rare that the tea leaves had to be acquired from the other side of the Looking Glass; the very reason why the shop only serves them once a month.

He had come with rushing steps, so very, very excited, like a child on Christmas morning until he had discovered that the very last tea was sold out. To this idiot of faceless woman not even fit to lick the scum off his boots!

His stiff fingers that were resting on his cane twitched with an urge to pull out a rifle and shoot the woman dead.

The woman, whose hand was holding _his_ supposed cup of tea in the plastic takeaway cup – which Blood found exceedingly outrageous, it was an insult to the god of teas! – looked at him smugly while taking a sip of her tea all the while measuring his reaction.

"Why so stiff Blood?" At this Blood stiffen. No faceless had dared to address him so informally before. He was both scandalized and curious. Now that he had scrutinized the woman properly, he had noticed her peculiarities; not just her attitude but her attire. The woman whose long blonde hair with green tints mashing together at the tips of her hair had sported black fur coats, inside, her pink tank top was embellished with sparkling diamond crust near the bust line, her waist however, was left bare and she wore a pair of black denim shorts (which was odd, he had not known a person who had dressed so daringly in Wonderland, but even he had to admit, it looked good on her). What her shorts failed to cover, her knee high boots had atone, with one of the pair holding a side chain the jingled with every step. However, he was more curious of the black sunglasses that hid where her eyes were supposed to be. Who wears glasses indoors?

Blood knew that he was off his game, but still he managed his composed look to show this impertinent fool who stole his tea just how unperturbed he was. "You know me, but I don't believe we've met before. Isn't it only polite to introduce yourself first?"

From his angle, he could see the girl smirk underneath her –his- tea cup. "It would be." He waited for her to continue, but after a long pause, she spoke "But I don't want to."

Blood's smile cracked. "Pardon me?".

The girl laughed lightly, and that's when Blood lost it. He has had enough of this silly mocking game. Literally seconds away from pulling out his rifle, his cane midair, ready to shift at command when Elliot bursted through the doorway hazardly. "Wait Blood, that's-"

It was Elliot who broke the door of its hinges, but it was the cashier that made Blood cease. "Miss Foreigner!"

A pregnant silence filled the shop.

"Booooo Bobby", she turned towards the ginger haired cashier, a childish pout on her pinkish lips. "You have the worst timing."

The cashier sweatdropped. "Miss Foreigner-"

"Lyvia. Say it with me Bob. Ly-vi-a." Like teaching the preschoolers how to read, she pronounced each syllable with a playful summon.

"Uhh.."

Elliot interrupted. "Lyvia, what are you doing here?" Elliot was notably fidgeting, his ears nervously twitching at the slightest sound.

"Elly!" Recognizing her friend the foreigner broke out into a sprint to hug her much larger buddy. For the first time, Blood could see a sincere grin breaking out from the girl's lips. "I told you it's Elliot Lyvia." He returned her bone crushing hug.

Blood frowned. "I was uninformed that you have met the second foreigner Elliot." Elliot laughed nervously feeling Blood's deadly stare. "Ahh yeah.."

"What! Elliot you didn't tell him!" Blood couldn't tell if she was sincerely surprised or taunting him for his lack of knowledge on current news. Lyvia turned to him. She brushed the loose strand of fringes behind her ears revealing the silver bajoran earrings that glinted under the dim café lights.

"Why I'm surprised." The tips of her mouth raise an inch. Now Blood was certain that it was the latter. "I'm Elliot's best buddy." … What on Wonderland has gone down that he was left unaware of one of the biggest tryst in Wonderland history (anything involving the foreigners was a big gossip material in Wonderland), and right under his nose too.

"I was unaware." The look Blood sent him could of bore holes in Elliot's rabbit skull."

"To be honest Blood, so am I." _Explain,_ Blood's murderous eyes says. "Ahhaha." Elliot rubbed the back of his head. "I only met her once during the last six time changes while me and the twins were out on a mission. You know _that_ mission, Lyvia was kidnapped by one of the thieving bastards and I somehow you know… ended up rescuing her."

Lyvia sipped on her tea all the while listening to tentatively listening to Elliot, as if it's the first time she had heard his story. Elliot let out a light cough to ease the tension. "So Lyv, what brought you here?" The two man turned their attention on her.

She raised an elegant brow. "Tea"

Elliot looked at her incredulously. "You hate tea"

"You're right." The young woman giggled. Lyvia then proceeded to throw the plastic container which still held half a liquid across the que line where the cup ended up hitting the side of the trash can before smoothly falling in. Blood chocked on spit.

Lyvia dusted her hands before crossing them together. "I am looking for my lost pet."

 _What a notorious foreigner_.


	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Hatters!

**A/N**

 **I am finally done with my MUET test! Soon I'd have to face my PSPM but the reviews had made me motivated, I hadn't plan to update until two months after but here is Chapter 2 afterall.**

 **If you've noticed, I've change the genre to romance, what the hell I was thinking, I don't know. I've never wrote romance EVER, not really my forte. But this story is character driven and Lyvia is the dictator, whatever she does, I'd write. The genre might change, might, in the future. Lyvia is a mystery, even to me. But on later chapters you'd see tidbits of her past that might fall under the angst/tragedy category, she is what she is, whatever it is that lead her to be what she is now. Whether she is apathetic in a sense that makes her seem unperturbed but funny all the same or if there's actual reason behind her madness.**

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 **CHAPTER 2: MEET THE HATTERS!**

 **"I'm peeling the skin of my face,**

 **Cause I really hate being safe~**

 **The normals they make me afraid;**

 **The crazies they make me feel sane"**

 **(Melanie Martinez – Mad Hatter)**

 **Lyvia's POV**

The clashing of silverware against teacups were the only notion that a functioning soul is occupying the long mass of table of which was currently brimmed with all assortments of sweets, pastries, baked goods and crumbles; of which were mostly orange.

From across the table, I could see Blood sipping on his tea all the while keeping me in his peripheral vision, waiting for the moment I'd crack under the silent tension. I grinned. He'd have to wait for a few more centuries though, I'm quite content with the mute atmosphere.

I had to admit, Blood had some impressive collection of China here, simple yet elegant all the same. It reminded of that Disney movies I once watched, what was it? Ah, Beauty and the Beast. A psychological thriller about this princess that was turned into a furry beast all because she was a greedy hag that wouldn't lend her glass slipper to this old grandmother that grew a bunch of pumpkins and green beans in her backyard. Blood's teacup made a soft click against the white porcelain. _Shhh_ Blood, I'm reminiscing.

What happened after that? A nerd from the nearby village came to the castle, met the beast, they fell in love? Was the curse lifted?

No. It hadn't. I remembered that kissing scene where one of them got turned into a frog - the boy, I think - so chances are now that the pretty princess found herself a new pretty prince, and that frog was left to die of roadkill while hopping after a fly that was about to cross the street. That story seemed a little off somehow.

The teapot story was nonetheless inspiring. Don't trust princesses with overgrown furs on their bodies. In the recess of my mind, half-consciously, my first playlist had already commenced in autopilot mode.

 _I'm a little teapot, short and stout_

 _Here is my handle is here is my spout_

 _When I get to_ _steam out_

 _Here me shout! Tip me over pour me-_

"… hail from?".

 _Oh._

Blood was the first to crack. And here I thought Clover's rendition of mafia had a short fuse for patience.

I sipped the rotten tasting excuse of a liquid. "Hmmm?"

The mafia's eyebrow twitched. "You should listen when others are talking young miss, it is awfully rude to be dazing off when the host is speaking." I chuckled under my breath; Blood, when aggravated is terribly amusing.

"Terribly sorry. Where art thou manners. You were saying?"

"I was saying-"

"Alice!" I stood from my chair, steadfast, when I caught a sign of a blue ribbon wearer waltzing past the garden. A vein popped from the socket of Dupre's forehead at the interruption.

I ran past where the irritated man was seated to glomp both of Alice's cheeks in my hands with enough force to make her look like an obese fish. "Dear, sweet, sweet, Alice, where had you been?" I pinched the cheeks tightly before stretching it. "I have been looking everywhere for you!"

"Ummmm… Do-aigh-gnoww-youh-mish?" Alice became squirmish under my fervent hold.

"Of course you don't silly! But you will." Alice flabbergasted. Blood looked murderous. Elliot stopped shoving orange concoction down his throat in favour of hanging his mouth.

Dee and Dum presence broke the awkward reunion, trailing after moments later with their axes dangling dangerously in their precarious hands. "Big Sis wait for us!"

The little blue one halted mid run when his eyes met mine, his red twin bumping his back from the sudden stop.

"Eh? A new role holder?" Dum scratched his head. "Who died?"

Owwhhh. What a cute pair of homicidal kids. "You must be Dee and Dum" I gave them the brightest smile I could muster. A tint of blush spread their chubby cheeks from the gesture.

"Hi, I'm Lyvia. Nice to meet you." I held out a hand. Dee took the offer first, absentmindedly shaking it, whilst holding my left hand out for Dum who stood right, the handshake now posited into a peculiar cross link shape.

I turned once again to Alice once more. "Do you know that story about the Beauty and the Beast?" I needed confirmation.

Alice, for a split second, was taken back. "About the village girl who wandered into the cursed Beast's castle?"

 _Girl?_ "Eh, she was gay?"

Since when did Disney movie legalize LGBT production? I didn't have much time to ponder on that fact, as my hands were tugged by the attention seeking duo.

"Which territory are you from sis?"

"Europe." The twins looked confused for a moment.

"Eh? Where's that?"

Blood spoke up. "She's a foreigner." His hand was now used as a stool to hold his top hat decorated head with.

"Ehhhh. Reaally? So that means you have a heart? Let us see. Let us see!" The twins were hypered now in enthusiastic curiosity, each of them pulling a set of limb.

I giggled. "Only if you'd let me dissect yours." The twins ceased their tugging. _What a find, how does a clock compare to a heart? Curious and curioser…_

"Dis-sect? "All traces of past excitement were gone, their words hanging off in loose uncertain hesitancy. "What's dis-sect?"

"Enough with it you brats. No one's dissecting anybody." Elliot held his second in command tone.

"We're not the one who mentioned anything about diskette-ing, it was the new big sis. Stupid rabbit!"

"Hey brats! How many times do I have to tell you I ain't a rabbit you cro-magnons. Carrot dishes isn't the constituent of carrots!"

It was plain to see where this was going; a breakout war to determine the specie heritage of Elliot March. While entertaining to watch, I have a mission at hand. "No kids, Elly here is not a rabbit. He is a hare." Their attention was now diverted towards me. Elliot blinked owlishly.

"A what?"

Blood tapped the foot of his cane against the pebbled grounds, dictating the end of this argument. "Let us bring the more vital matters at hand. Miss Lyvia, why are you here?" His eyes glint with the authority his role possessed.

I stood from the comfy chair. "Let's take a walk Blood." He was apprehensive, I could sense it.

"Very well." Blood's finger reach the hem of his hat, tipping it courteously with a slight nod to his other party guests before acknowledging me with cautious dark ruby eyes. "Come."

The afternoon sky warped into complete darkness as Blood and I entered the more discrete portion of his rose garden, there was a swing hanged from a protruding branch by thick ropes.

"You have a lovely garden."

"Let us not beat around the bushes Miss Lyvia. To be honest, I find you quite uncanny. You'll soon find that I don't do well with uncanny people."

I gave a dry laugh. "That's quite an impression. We've barely known each other for a day."

"Precisely." Be nice Lyvia _, be nice_.

"Did I not tell you? I need to find my pet" I smiled wryly. When dealing with Blood, exercise caution, heed the caterpillar. This was a tug of war; I needed his person to do my bidding without much resistance on his part.

"I'm afraid I need more specifics."

"I need a favor, from your dearest foreigner, Alice, to find me my pet." As soon he processed the input 'Alice', his eyes slanted dangerously narrow.

"Let me finish. It's not a favor, more of a deal, if you will. And there's no deal without benefit for both sides of the parties." I sat myself on the swing, my feet pushed against the dirt to propel the wooden plank up.

"I am not part of this game, not currently anyways. I am, however, more or less aware of the workings of it. More than Alice is at least. I am the foreigner, but I'm not _the_ foreigner. Abiding by the rules of Heart's Country, only the star of _this_ game has the access to all parts of Wonderland's inner mechanism, all its territories."

"…And?"

The swing stopped oscillating when my feet anchored it still. I let out a tired sigh. "I'd return this favor generously. Anything and everything you'd wish for me to do in the future, I'll grant, this is a promise. You know the power a foreigner holds here, I do as well. All I ask is that you lend me Alice, so I, can freely enter the warden's jail."

 _BOOMMM._ The sound of a triggered gun resounded past the barriers of rose bushes.

 **"** **We paint white roses red,**

 **Each shade from a different person's head,**

 **This dream, dream is a killer**

 **Getting drunk with the blue caterpillar"**

 **(Melanie Martinez – Mad Hatter)**

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 **A shoutout and a massive thank you to my first three reviewers: devourednightmares, Dark Rose Charm and Dari-kun**


	3. Chapter 3: Foreign-Napped

**CHAPTER 3 : FOREIGN-NAPPED**

 **~It is not the strongest species that survives,**

 **Not the most intelligent,**

 **But the most receptive to change~**

 **(Charles Darwin)**

 **Lyvia's POV**

Blood had pulled that gun faster than Elliot could munch down a slice of carrot cake, and though expected, the action had caught me off guard. The harsh stinging on my cheek was a solemn indication that the cold metal bullet had grazed it, a form of castigation by Blood Dupre.

"That is quite the offer Lyvia, _anything_ is such a powerful verb." Despite the biting sensation, I managed a shadow of smile. "So it is." Blood frowned.

"And if I ask for your life?"

"If you give me Alice, I wouldn't kvetch much."

"Are you sure? Foreigners are indispensable afterall, once dead there wouldn't a replacement for you."

In contrast to his guarded gleam, my eyes shone of mirth. "Of course there is. Just ask Peter White to pop one up here, isn't kidnapping foreigners his forte?"

"You have a disturbing sense of humor." _Don't we all?_ His gun switched back to its cane vessel. "What business do you have with Joker?"

My voice lost all traces of amiability. "None of your business." Dupre was getting more annoying by the second.

"However you see it Blood, you're only left with two choices, you either shoot me dead here, or you smarten up and take up my offer. If it's the former, good luck dealing with disposing a rotting carcass, brilliant experience I tell you, as I'm sure you know that our corpse doesn't merely disintegrate into clocks, we let nature do the work for us." Blood looked uncomfortable at this. "If it's neither, I will be in Wonderland for quite some time, me and Alice are bound to have a rundown sooner or later. I don't think it'd take much convincing for Alice to lead this poor lost old me into Jokers territory, do you?"

Blood snorted. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"Oh no, I wouldn't dare." My pearly canines peaked through my simper. I wiped the residue blood that seeped through the streak wound with an index finger, lifting the appendage to my parted lips, lapping the red plasma with the tip of my tongue. It tasted like rusted iron. "Admit it Blood, you need me."

"I should shoot you dead for that sort of insolence."

"But you wouldn't. Not to a foreigner."

88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

 **THE FOREST**

"We're going on a trip to my favourite rocket ship, zooming through the sky, little Einsteinnn!", I sung merrily, red umbrella twisting precariously beneath my fingers as I dragged a blue dressed girl with my other hand.

Day changed to twilight soon enough, and Alice seemed perturbed by the darkening sky.

"Worried?", I asked.

Alice only nodded slightly. "I'm afraid nighttime might come for us, it gets dangerous in the forest at night."

I spun to face the shorter girl. "But night is when all the fun happens?"

"But it's Wonderl-"

"Because it's Wonderland". A glint of burning firewood caught my vision. "Look here's one right now."

Just as I assumed, the Knight of Hearts made his entrance. Unwelcomed brute hands gripped my shoulder from behind. "Hey Alice" His eyes made a squint while he smiled broadly, until it turned towards me, and they shone of curiosity. "Who's your friend?"

I decided to introduce myself. "I'm Lyvia".

I reached out a gloved hand−not in fear of his large calloused hands breaking mine, but because he's an unhygienic son of germ who had fingernails spooning dirt, like fat Aunt Roodie spooning macaroni. I did my best to match his smile nonetheless.

This Ace guy clearly lacked any sense of personal space as much as hygiene as he stood too close for what was considered appropriate till I had to tilt a good length up to see his mischievous eyes looking down on me. I do know that his somewhat carefree attitude could be intimidating as much as uncomfortable when misused.

"You're a foreigner right newcomer?".

"So that means you have a heart right, Miss Foreigner?". I imagined how many repeating conversations I'd have to make around here.

"I do. I also have a set of kidneys, lungs, bladder, liver; the full organ combo. You name it, I have it. Why, are you buying?"

He blinked once, then he laughed. The laugh set an echo in the stillness of the forest, the sound travelling far. At least he's got a sense of humor.

The laugh drifted to light chuckles. "You're funny."

"So my psychiatrist had told me."

A blur of pink and purple jumped from a tree planted behind the humored Ace. The colour was so bright and vivid, and it moved so fast that the mash of purplish pink burned its way right into my eyehole sockets. Another of those role holders I've yet to meet.

Pinky acknowledged Ace first. "Hell, where you've been? Vivaldi's turning the castle inside out looking for you. Death counts are increasing-" then of course he noticed me, the unfamiliar face in Wonderland.

His tail swished vigorously from one side to another. "Lyvia! The new foreigner right?"

"News sure travels fast." I smiled politely.

"It's rare that we have one foreigner in the game, there's never been two."

This roleholder is as unreserved as the last one I concluded, when he checked me out unabashedly from where he stood. "You're pretty."

That side comment threw me off for a second. I racked my brain for a way to respond kindly. No. Nah. I don't know how to respond to that. "Thank you. And you're… pink." _Ah, should of left it at thank you._

"She's a funny foreigner, right Boris?" Ace slung an arm around the Cheshire cat's shoulder, his hand caressing the pink boa. _That boa looks fluffy, almost as if came from the fur of another animal._ Boris rocked that gothic-emo black and pink look, piercings and all. _Okay Lyv, less time admiring, more time moving._

"We'd love to stay and chat more, but I'm afraid Alice and I are on a tight schedule, and we should really get going."

"Ah, I should be going to. Knightly duty calls." With a wink and a wave, Ace disappeared behind the bushes, leaving us with pinky.

"The castle's the other way, you airhead!" the cat groaned.

"Anyway, where you headed?"

"The circus. Or the jail really, whichever we find first."

Boris gagged. "Uh, why?"

"Confidential business, my cannibal furball fiend." His head tilted to his right, not getting the inside joke.

"You joining us?"

"Ughh no, we don't associate ourselves with Jokers around here."

I shrugged. "Suit yourself." My umbrella made a dip before settling securely on my shoulder. This was my 'I'm ready to get down to business' gesture.

"Hey, wanted to ask for sometime now, but what's with the umbrella, it's dusk? What ya' need it for?"

"I don't." I gave a crooked grin. "It's Gucci."

Alice and I walked for about a mile longer until we reached a signboard pointing the path towards the circus. This was a long walk, I am now angry and to top it off hungry. I am hangry. A hangry me is a delusional me. "I want a gingerbread house right about now, I don't care if an ugly witch threw me in an oven, least I'd be fed."

Alice gave me that strange look again. "You say the weirdest things."

"Not if you've read Hansel and Gretel. I forgot what century you came from, thought you read fairy tales too."

All of a sudden, Alice stopped dead in front of me. Black figures which are void of faces, and whose body was more liquid than solid swarmed the vicinity collecting clocks from the blanket of red mass that stuck on the grass and flowed through its crevice. _Afterimages._

There was a cracking sound, like glass breaking as I took my first step forward. Looking down, sure enough it was a clock that I had stepped on. I felt several afterimages turn heads at me. "Alice, go!" I commanded.

"But you.."

"Now!" the tone left no room for argument. "They're harmless, they're only after the clocks." I only heard running footsteps from behind, indicating that she had wisely heed my request.

The afterimages drew closer to me, albeit slowly, and slightly curiously. I took wary step backwards. These clock retrievers reek of the stench of blood and something akin to burning gas. Disgusting. Any appetite from earlier was immediately laid waste.

One afterimage in particular drew particularly close. These creatures don't walk, more like they're floating, shaped helium gas without the balloon. It drew an inch, then two, and then there was darkness. The ground was no longer ground, instead was a black underground tunnel that whipped my feet from balance and I fell down, fast, till I felt cold pavement beneath my torso where I landed on my front.

"Well shit. Look what dropped into this shithole."

 _Ah, so I've arrived._


End file.
